


Just A Little Obsessed

by Quacks



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: All mistakes are mine, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Blackmail, Bucky Barnes Is Angry, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Peter Parker, I swear I don't hate steve, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Maybe Angrier Than The Hulk, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Mild Comfort, Not Beta Read, Only in the first chapter, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker Whump, Precious Peter Parker, Protective Avengers, Protective Bucky Barnes, Protective Tony Stark, Rape, Rape Recovery, Rape/Non-con Elements, Recovery Is Not A Straight Line, Secrets, Skip Westcott POV, Stalking, Steve Cares He Is Just Bad At Showing It, Worried Tony Stark, and they don't do it by halves, breaking point, creepy Skip Westcott, i cried a lot, like really bad, not graphic but still possibly triggering, partial closure, read the tags, the Avengers avenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-30
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:53:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27791065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quacks/pseuds/Quacks
Summary: Peter knew Skip was out of jail. He saw the obligatory letter from the state letting them know his abuser was released - even though May and Ben tried to hide it from him. He just didn’t expect to run into the man.Little does Peter know, there is nothing coincidental about him and Skip being in the same place at the same time.
Relationships: Peter Parker & Avengers Team, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Comments: 114
Kudos: 463
Collections: Marvel Stories





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This prompt request is also WAAAY overdue, and I am so sorry about that! I do just want to explain that I have had half of this first chapter written since it was requested in July, but after that my brain stopped functioning.
> 
> As you have probably noticed, there are 4 chapters to this, but no need to worry about me leaving you hanging for a long time because I have finished it...mostly. (there's a little bit left of the last chapter) But I am only going to post one chapter a day, because it gives me a little more time to complete it. 
> 
> Thank you to PrincessDark20920 for this prompt! Now that my brain has refreshed, I actually had a ton of fun writing this. :) 
> 
> Anyway, Thanks for reading! If you like it, please leave a kudos or comment !

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> READ THE TAGS!!!!! This story did not turn out how I expected it to and the ending is not what I originally predicted it to be. It's an open ending with partial recovery and not a ton of fluff or comfort. If you don't like it, don't read it!

“WESTCOTT!”

Rolling his eyes, Skip looks up at the guard standing right outside his cell. “You’re less than five feet away from me, was it really necessary to yell?”

“Let’s go.” The guard demanded, pulling a set of keys from his belt to unlock the door. 

After two years, it’s no secret that the guards don’t like him. Hell, the other inmates don’t like him, but he can’t find it in himself to care. He’s not like the others, he doesn’t depend on people to have his back. The only person you can fully trust is yourself, and anyone else just gets in the way. 

Within the first month of being in this hell hole, Skip made a name for himself. Everyone knew who he was, and they knew to stay away. The unlucky people who have tried to challenge him...well, let’s just say he’s sent more people out of the facility on stretchers than anyone else. 

He hasn’t always been a violent person, but being in this place, you either learn or you die. Especially once people knew why he was here, he was targeted more. Apparently, being a child sex offender is worse than being a murderer.

“I won’t say it again,” The guard seethed, glaring at Skip. “Get off your ass and come with me. Now!” 

Shaking himself from his thoughts, Skip went with the guard, watching his surroundings like he’s used to doing. Even with the guard escort, he’s not safe, but that won’t stop him from having a little fun. 

“I’m sensing that you are stressed. Is the job getting to you?” He mocks concern, smirking when he sees the guard clench his jaw. “Or maybe there’s a little trouble at home with the missus? You know, if you need a break you can always send her my way. I’ll make sure to take extra good care of her.”

The guard growls, pushing him up against a wall, red faced and breathing heavily.  _ This will be fun,  _ He thinks to himself. 

“Woah, big guy.” Skip holds his hands up in surrender, feigning innocence. “Was it something I said?”

Quirking an eyebrow, Skip grins at the guard, daring him to do something. He loves pissing off the guards, not only for their reactions, but because if even one of them hurts him or touches him wrong, Skip can use that to shorten his sentence. His eighteenth birthday just passed, and since he technically isn’t a minor anymore, he has a higher chance of being let out. He knows his lawyers are already working out an arrangement, claiming that he was young and dumb at the time of assault, so they shouldn’t carry the charges into adulthood.

He was sixteen when he was charged for ‘sexually abusing’ a child. That’s the term the lawyers used during his trial, but Skip doesn’t see it that way. He didn’t rape Peter. The little twerp was practically begging for it. 

Peter was the one who asked Skip to sit in the bathroom with him while he took his bath before bed. Peter was the one who was eager to strip out of his clothes, unashamed of Skip seeing him naked. Peter was the one who asked Skip to wash his back. But it was Skip who was accused of rape.

The kid probably used that brain of his to orchestrate the whole thing. Peter had to have known the effect he was going to have on Skip; had to have known that Skip would push it further. Then once it was all over, he lied to his aunt and uncle, saying that he didn’t want it. And of course everybody believed him with the fake tears and sad looks. But Skip saw through it, he saw the show Peter was putting on to sell his sob story. 

Even now, Skip got a sour taste in his mouth every time he thought Peter Parker, the stupid kid who ruined his life. 

Backing away, the guard grabbed Skip’s arm, continuing to lead him down the hallway. Where he was going, Skip had no idea, but as the doors to the warden’s office came into view he felt like his luck was changing. 

* * *

Thinking back on it, Skip never would have guessed that four years later he would be leaving one of the most famous buildings in New York after securing himself a job with a company as prestigious as Stark Industries.

Thanks to his father, Skip was released early with his record being so securely sealed it was practically non-existent. A lot of people were paid off to make sure that the record wouldn’t stop Skip from getting a high-quality education or a job at a top tier company. 

So four years later, with a bachelor's degree in business management and communication, Skip is now the newest member of the Stark Industries public relations team. His goal is to work his way through the ranks to eventually be the youngest person to earn a spot on the board of directors for Stark Industries.

Everything was falling into place, Skip was riding the high of excitement as yet another step in his plan was complete, and nothing was going to dim his mood. 

That is, until Skip looks back over his shoulder towards the massive tower where his eyes catch sight of a familiar face that exits the doors Skip had left less than a minute before. 

The kid - who isn’t a kid anymore but a teenager - is taller, his jaw more defined, and his muscles filling out his clothes nicely. A carefree smile takes over his glasses-less face, but even after eight years the brown, untamed curls and doe eyes are unmistakable. That is Peter Parker. 

* * *

Skip tried to steer his thoughts away from a certain teenager. He kept himself busy, but nothing could stop the way the kid’s face danced around his head. Memories of  _ that night  _ all those years ago played like a movie in his mind, but instead of Peter being a scrawny eight year old, he was the handsome teenager Skip saw outside of Stark Industries. He could only imagine what the boy looked like now underneath his clothes. 

He spent eight years hating the kid who messed up his life, determined to never see the twerp again. He hadn’t thought that a brief view from a distance would push out all the hatred he’s built up over the years. It’s wrong how badly he craves to see Peter again, how he wants to see the kid’s face light up with that lopsided smile, how he wants to be the reason for that smile. 

Reasonably, Skip knows he can’t approach Peter, not without causing a few legal problems. That doesn’t mean he can’t still  _ see _ the kid. If he’s caught, it would not work out in his favor, but consequences be damned, Skip can’t help but wait around the entrances of Stark Industries in hopes of seeing Peter. 

The fact that he works in the building helps keep unwanted attention off of himself. He belongs there and there’s nothing wrong with an employee sitting in one of the chairs in the lobby. 

A few days passed and Skip failed to see Peter again. He started to wonder if the kid being at Stark Industries was a one-time thing, until Thursday afternoon. The boy walked through the doors, smiling at everyone he passed. Peter stopped to talk to the receptionist for a few minutes, giving Skip enough time to truly admire his beauty. 

That night, Skip waited around for Peter to leave, following him back to the same apartment they lived in eight years ago. Crossing the street, Skip counted the windows on the side of the building, knowing exactly which one opened into the Parker’s living room, growling under his breath when he saw the curtains were closed. 

The kid is like a drug to him. You know drugs are bad for you, but after one taste you keep craving more and more, slowly, but surely, becoming addicted, impatient for your next hit. He needs to see him again. 

* * *

After a month, Skip now knows practically everything there is to know about Peter. He knows where the kid goes to school, who his friends are, who his bully is (which Skip will take care of soon enough, because no one is allowed to touch what belongs to him, even if Peter doesn’t know it yet). Skip knows that Peter spends Monday and Thursday afternoons working with Tony Stark as his personal assistant. And most importantly, Skip knows that Peter Parker is Spider-Man. 

It didn’t take long for Skip to catch on to the kid’s alter ego. Most nights, Skip watches from the dark fire escape on the building across the street as Peter crawls out of his window. It was a shock the first time he saw it, but Skip has learned to love it. The fact that the kid is saving people every night, shows just how selfless he is. How perfect he is. And let’s not forget that gorgeous body the kid hides behind baggy clothes. 

The collection of pictures continues to grow, but looking at a photograph isn’t the same as seeing the object of his obsession in person. There have been many times when Skip has wanted to confront the kid, to convince him to give Skip a second chance, but he knows Peter wouldn’t.

Not willingly. 

“Skip Westcott!” A large man boomed, his voice carrying over the loud chatter of the other customers in the coffee shop. The familiar man, whose name Skip has forgotten, approaches the corner table. But that’s not what holds his attention. The breathtaking caramel brown eyes of Peter Parker meet his, the kid’s widening in immediate recognition.

Skip mentally curses the business man for breaking his cover as Peter stutters out a poorly thought through excuse to his friends, his hands trembling as they stuff his books in his backpack, all while maintaining eye contact. The kid was good at keeping eye contact, even when he was crying out for Skip to stop, it was one of the reasons Skip enjoyed it so much. That, and the way his eyes rolled back as his body shook from the pleasure Skip was blessing him with - and to think Peter was never grateful for the things he did. The bell from the coffee shop door rang, signaling Peter’s hasty departure.

Forcing a smile, Skip greeted the man, gracefully switching to his business persona. He held a strong conversation with the man, discussing some sort of press conference Stark Industries would be holding the next week. However, Skip wasn’t paying attention because he just thought of the perfect way to get Peter to agree to be with him. 

Spider-Man. 

There’s a reason the kid keeps his alter ego a secret, and Skip is willing to bet that Peter would do anything to keep it a secret. And now that Peter knows that Skip is around, there’s no need to hide in the shadows anymore.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The response I have gotten from this is amazing and I love it!! Thank you to everyone who has commented and left a kudos. I hope you enjoy this chapter just as much :)
> 
> ps - the whump doesn't really start until chapter 3..
> 
> Let me know what you think!!
> 
> **edit: I originally put that NYC has 8 billion people, but it was supposed to be 8 million. Lol can you imagine if 8 billion people lived in NYC? Thanks to the kind person who pointed it out! **

With his heart beating wildly, Peter keeps his eyes focused on the all-to-familiar blue eyes while haphazardly throwing his books in his backpack. He’s aware of Ned and MJ giving him worried looks, but he just mutters out an excuse before rushing out the door.

It’s been years - eight, to be exact - since Peter has heard that name or seen that man. Even after all this time, Peter hasn’t forgotten the things his old babysitter did to him. The way his eyes darkened when Peter got ready for his bath, the feeling of his cold, clammy hands touching every inch of his skin, Skip’s breath against his neck as he tried to convince Peter that he wanted it. 

Peter never wanted it. He wanted to take a bubble bath with way too many bubbles, get cozy in his Iron Man pajamas, and snuggle in bed while Skip read stories to him. But he didn’t get that. Instead he got a night spent in a cold room being poked and prodded for a rape kit. He got nightly nightmares, a smelly old therapist that did nothing to help his trauma, and a lifetime of self hatred because he will never stop  _ feeling _ dirty. 

Peter knew Skip was out of jail. He saw the obligatory letter from the state letting them know his abuser was released - even though May and Ben tried to hide it from him. He just didn’t expect to run into the man. It was wishful thinking, but New York City is big with a population of 8.39 million people; assuming that he’d go without seeing the man wasn’t that crazy.

Only when the elevator opened to the penthouse, did Peter realize where his feet had taken him. The living room was empty, which wasn’t uncommon for this time of day. He knew Tony would either be down in the workshop or at some board meeting with Pepper. Steve and Bucky were raiding a HYDRA base, Natasha is still staking out an ametuer drug lord, and Clint was with his family.

Throwing his bag somewhere in the living room, Peter went to get himself a snack. He needs something to take his mind off of Skip, so why not food? There was something off about the way Skip’s eyes were already on him when Peter looked up that didn’t settle right. It was almost as if he had been watching Peter. Probably not, though. He’s probably just being paranoid. 

After throwing a bag of popcorn in the microwave, Peter filled a glass with water, gulping it down in a few gulps. Refilling the glass, he pulls his phone out of his pocket and notices a new message. His eyebrows furrow at the unknown number, but he opens it anyway, instantly regretting it. 

**Hey Einstein**

Peter drops his phone, slowly backing away from the device until his back hits something - or someone - behind him. He jumps as he turns to face the person, his body on the defense, ready to attack. 

“Woah, kid. It’s just me, stand down.” Tony holds his hands up in surrender, giving Peter a quizzical expression.

Taking a deep breath, Peter forces himself to calm down, berating himself for being so wound up. Geez, he saw Skip for like, two seconds, and he’s already acting like the world is burning. The text didn’t help, because only one person has ever called Peter ‘Einstein’. But that doesn't mean anything, for all he knows it could be Flash coming up with another stupid nickname. 

Except he already has Flash’s number saved… 

_ Damn it! No, stop overreacting _ . Skip wouldn’t do that. He wouldn’t contact Peter after eight years, not after it was Peter’s testimony that sent Skip to prison.

“Kid?” Tony waved a hand in front of Peter’s face. “What’s going on in that big head of yours?”

“Oh, n-nothing, Mr. Stark.” He stuttered, picking up his phone and sliding it in his pocket.

“Oh, something.” Tony countered, placing a hand on his hip like a mother who caught their child red-handed - which is kind of fitting for this situation if you think about it. Not that Peter was doing anything wrong, per say. But he definitely was lying. “You only call me ‘Mr. Stark’ when you’re up to no good.”

Rolling his eyes, Peter tries to play it off, letting out a laugh that even to his ears sounded fake. “Okay,  _ Tony _ .” He made sure to put extra emphasis on his name. “You just scared me, that’s all. No need to worry.”

“What? Your Peter tingle not working?” Tony taunted, loving the reaction he gets every time from the spiderling. 

And as expected, Peter groaned, shooting the older man an annoyed look. “Please, Tony, for the last time, do not call it my ‘Peter tingle’. It’s bad enough that May won’t let it go.” 

Reaching out, Tony tousled Peter’s hair - another pet peeve of the kid’s - before grabbing a glass of his own. “Whatever you say, kid.”

The rest of the evening, Peter tried to take his mind off of the text waiting for him on his phone. He and Tony watched movies, ordered take-out, and tinkered for a few hours in the lab. As long as he was busy, Peter was successful in staying distracted but the moment things grew quiet or he was left to his own thoughts, his mind drifted back to message. 

Currently he and Tony are in the lab working on their own projects, the only problem being that Peter can’t focus. Taking a quick glance towards Tony and seeing the man distracted by his work, Peter pulled his phone out of his pocket, opening the text message, and sent off a quick text before he could think twice about it. 

**Who is this?**

Whatever the reply is, Peter will for sure know if he needs to panic or not. It didn’t take long for his phone to buzz with an incoming message. A message that makes his blood run cold. 

**I think you know exactly who I am.**

Then quickly followed by another one.

**These last eight years have been nice to you. We should meet up, you know, for old times sake.**

Shutting off his phone, Peter tucks it back into his pocket and cleaning up his workstation - aka, shoving things into random drawers for him to reorganize later. “Mr- uh, Tony, I’m gonna head out. I’ve got a lot of homework so…” He trailed off, swinging his backpack over his shoulders. 

Tony narrowed his eyes at Peter, but (thankfully) didn’t question him. The older man studied Peter for a moment before giving a curt nod and turning back to his project. “See you later, kid.”

Releasing a breath he didn’t realize he was holding, Peter scurried to the elevator, leaning his head against the cold metal wall once the doors were closed. It seems silly, really, to be getting so worked up over a few texts. Skip wouldn’t dare approach Peter, not after everything that’s happened. The man might be a pedophile and rapist, but he isn’t stupid.

Why then, after all this time, is Skip reaching out to him? Could it be because they ran into each other at the coffee shop earlier? But where could Skip have gotten his number?

The elevator slowed as it approached another floor, probably to take other late workers down to the lobby too. This is not something he’s missed about taking public elevators. The private elevator is undergoing some minor repairs so Peter’s stuck riding with others. Of course, there’s a bio-metric and retinal scanner that regulates who can go to certain floors, like Tony’s lab and the living quarters.

When the doors open, Peter feels like all the air has been knocked out of him as he stares with wide, terror-filled eyes at the individual waiting to board the elevator. Peter backs into the farthest corner, putting as much space as possible between him and Skip. “W-what are y-you doing here?”

Skip holds up one finger as he steps into the lift and waits for the doors to close behind him. Once the doors shut, Skip grins down at Peter, using his height to tower over the teen. “I’ve missed you.” The man admits, his eyes scanning down Peter’s body, making the young hero tense up. “You really are so much more beautiful up close.” 

Skip reaches out to brush back a stray strand of hair that fell over Peter’s forehead, which causes Peter to flinch out of his way and breaks him out of his fear induced trance. “Don’t touch me.” He bites out, ready to fight the man if needed. He is no longer the terrified little kid who couldn’t defend himself. He’s Spider-Man; a super-powered teenager who fights all sorts of enhanced criminals on a daily basis. “I don’t know what you think you’re doing, but you need to leave me alone.” 

“Wow,” Skip chuckles deeply, an unsettling sound that has Peter’s insides twisting violently. “It seems you’ve grown a backbone to go with that delicious body of yours.”

“Fuck off, Skip.” Peter snapped, sounding a lot more powerful than he felt. What is taking this elevator so fucking long to reach the main floor? Geez, he just needs to get away from Skip. 

“I’d like to fuck you.” Skip whispered breathily, stalking towards Peter with lust filled eyes. “Why not now?”

In an instant, Peter had Skip pressed face first into the elevator wall. “You don’t scare me, Skip, and you can’t touch me. Especially not with the A.I. watching everything in this building.”

Skip laughs, as if Peter had told the funniest joke. Confused, Peter slacked his grip, giving Skip enough wiggle room to flip their positions, with Skip’s front pressed to Peter’s back. 

“Except, I disabled the camera in this elevator right before I got on. You see, I’ve been watching you all day and the moment you left the lab, I knew this was the perfect time to corner you.” Skip gloated, his lips brushing against Peter’s neck. An involuntarily disgusted shiver runs down Peter’s spine, pulling another chuckle from Skip. “I knew you liked it.” 

Jerking his head back, Peter makes contact with Skip’s nose, feeling slightly better at the crunch of the bones breaking. Flipping Skip onto his back, Peter straddles him, pulling a fist back to attack the despicable man below him. He’s never liked violence, never been one to throw punches, but he’s willing to make an exception for Skip. 

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” Skip taunts with a smug expression, like this is exactly what he wanted. “Not if you want me to keep your secret.”

Peter snaps his eyes to Skip’s, looking - silently pleading to every deity known to human, alien, and otherworldly beings - to find any hint of a lie within them. Doubtfully, Peter lowers his fist, trying not to jump to any extreme conclusions, like Skip somehow knowing about his alter ego. “What are you talking about?”

“For a superhero, you sure do like to play dumb a lot.” Skip huffed, rolling his eyes before pushing a slack jawed Peter off of him. “Let’s just say, I’ve been watching you for a while now and boy, was it a surprise when I first saw you climb up a wall.”

Peter slouched against the wall, holding his head in his hands. This is not good. This is really not good. His mind was racing, trying to fully comprehend what Skip had said, while also thinking through his next plan of action. All of his plans involve Tony because Tony will know what to do and how to handle Skip. But that then means that Tony finds out about Skip, which won’t turn out well for anyone. Peter would be outed as Spider-Man, Skip would be dead, and Tony would go to jail for murder. At least, that’s how every scenario ends in Peter’s mind.

“I think it’s clear exactly what I want.” Skip interrupts Peter’s silent debate, standing from the floor and wiping dust off his pants. He then leans over, pressing the button for the lobby, which they apparently never pressed after Skip got on the elevator. “I’ll text you the time and location. If you don’t show or you tell anyone, I won’t hesitate to release the photos of a mask-less you in your suit. And before you think of surprise attacking me, I have also given copies to some close friends who know to upload the files should anything happen to me.”

The elevator door finally opened to the lobby and Skip stepped out, leaving Peter in the lift, but not before adding one more comment. “Oh, and climbing out of your bedroom window like you do, is practically begging for your secret identity to be revealed. See you soon, Einstein.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all are amazing. Thank you all for your kind and encouraging comments. They seriously mean so much to me. 
> 
> Here's chapter 3 - let me know what you think :)

Either Tony’s going crazy, or Peter is acting strange. And seeing how Dr. Cho just gave him an all-clear at his last physical, Tony’s leaning more towards the second option. 

However, it’s not just Tony who’s noticed this change in behavior. One by one, May, Happy, Pepper, and each member of the Avenger’s team have pulled Tony aside in the last two months to ask him about it. 

Just like all of them, Tony’s at a loss for what to do. He doesn’t want to overstep his boundaries and demand answers from the kid. If he remembers anything from his teenage years - besides the massive hangovers and awkward morning encounters - it’s that having an adult interrogate you about every little thing, makes you want to shut them out even further. Let’s not forget that Peter is a sixteen year old teenager going through puberty, so it is expected for them to experience unusual mood swings. Logically thinking, they could all be overthinking this.

That doesn’t stop Tony from worrying. It would be one thing if Peter were to only snap at them a couple times a week, but the fact that Tony has been yelled at everyday this week by the spiderling is a bit alarming. The things that set Peter off add to the confusion of the whole situation. 

For example; yesterday, Tony patted Peter on the back for finishing up his project - something Tony’s does at least once a lab day - and Peter smacked Tony’s hand away, yelling at the man and threatening to break his fingers if Tony ever touches him again, before packing up his things and leaving. To say Tony was flabbergasted would be an understatement. 

After that altercation, Tony spent a few hours thinking through all the other times he’s touched Peter recently, trying to remember if Peter reacted negatively to those as well. He even reviewed some footage from the security cameras. Time after Time, Tony watched as Peter flinched away from his touch before quickly composing himself and acting like nothing happened. How Tony missed it in those moments, he has no idea, but he’s really hating himself for being so oblivious to something that clearly makes his kid uncomfortable.

Then there’s also the lack of talking from the kid who has gotten in heaps of trouble due to his constantly running mouth. Peter now hides under his hoodies, avoids eye contact, and when was the last time Tony actually saw Peter eat something? Come to think of it, Peter has been looking thinner lately. 

May originally asked Tony if Peter’s cold behavior was a side effect from the spider bite or maybe from the stress of being a superhero. She contemplated taking away patrol privileges for a little bit, to see if that would help any. Tony had thankfully talked her out of it. Patrolling is the one time Peter seems to be the happiest and taking away that little reprieve from whatever is dragging him down would make things worse. 

Tony’s not blind, he knows the signs of depression. But he also knows that people who are struggling with their mental health aren’t always open to talking about it or getting help. Tony has been there, it may have looked like he was having the time of his life with all the drinking and partying, but looks can be deceiving. That’s not the point. The point is, he’s been there, and it took a long time for him to see that he was worth the effort to get better. You can’t help someone who doesn’t want help. All you can do is show them that they are loved and be willing to help them build the pieces back up.

“Boss, Mr. Rogers has requested your presence in the common room.” FRIDAY announced and Tony swears there was a hint of apprehension in her tone. 

“Is everything alright, Fri?” He questioned, wanting to know if he was getting himself into a sticky situation by leaving his lab. Ever since that one time when Clint asked for Tony - after the arrow-wielding maniac set the kitchen on fire in a poor attempt to make stove top popcorn, and Tony found himself on the receiving end of Pepper’s angry glare because he had been in the kitchen when she arrived - he’s made sure to ask what the problem is before running to the rescue.

“It seems that Mr. Rogers has called a team meeting to discuss Mr. Parker’s recent behavior.” FRIDAY answered truthfully, but Tony could tell she was something she still wasn’t saying. 

“What is it, Fri?”

“They invited Mr. Parker to this meeting.” Before FRIDAY was even finished speaking, Tony was on his feet, running toward the elevator. Tony knows that the Peter issue is getting worse, but this is not the way to go about it. Confronting the kid is not going to help anybody.

In less than a minute, Tony is racing into the common room, where everyone - Peter included - is waiting for him. He takes a moment to catch his breath, while looking wide eyed between Steve and Peter, trying to figure out the best way to break up this little meeting without the kid getting suspicious. He finally opens his mouth, hoping that whatever words come out do more good than harm, but Steve cuts him off. 

“Good. Now that everyone is here, we can start.” Steve has his hands on his hips, standing in front of the group, looking as serious as ever. You’d think they were in a mission briefing and not about to lecture a child with the way Steve’s acting. “Most of you know why we’re here.”

“Cap.” Tony warns, silently pleading that for once, Steve will actually listen to him.

Steve rolls his eyes before continuing, ignoring Tony’s attempts at stopping him. “There’s an issue that we need to deal with because it is starting to affect everyone. Peter.”

The teenager jerks his head up, the hood that was covering his head falling off. For a moment there’s a look of panic on Peter’s face, but he quickly morphs his expression to one of indifference. “What?” He asks, clearly annoyed at being called on. 

“You are the problem.” Steve states bluntly, staring at the kid challengingly, daring Peter to fight back.

“Steve.” Tony shouts, shocked that America’s golden boy would say something like that to a teenager - even if that teenager is enhanced.

At the same time, Peter scoffs. “Nice to know you think so highly of me, Mr. Rogers.” Getting to his feet, Peter grabs his backpack and makes his way to leave. 

“Where do you think you’re going?” Steve demands, grabbing Peter’s shoulder and spinning the kid around. “We are having a team meeting and last I checked, you are part of the team.”

“No, last I checked, I was the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man who only sometimes helped the Avengers when they deemed the fight child-proof.” Peter argued, pushing Steve’s hand off his shoulder with more force than necessary.

“We’re just looking out for you.” Both Clint and Sam defend at the same time, also standing from their seats.

Rolling his eyes, Peter squares his shoulders, standing to his full height. “So you say.” He chuckles darkly.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Natasha asks, narrowing her eyes at Peter. 

“You all need to back off.” Tony orders before Peter can answer, a bad feeling rising in his gut. “Cornering the kid like this isn’t the way to do it.” 

“Oh, so you agree that I’m the problem, Tony?” Peter questions, clenching his jaw to control his anger. “How long have you all been talking about me behind my back? Days? Weeks? Months? Or maybe this whole thing has been a game to you all to see how long you can gossip about the newcomer until he’s finally smart enough to catch on to the joke?”

Cries of objection echo around the room, everyone trying to deny the accusations and yelling at each other about whose fault it is that Peter feels that way in the first place. 

“That’s not true!”

“Don’t think like that, we are just worried.”

“I knew this was a bad idea.”

“See, this is why I didn’t want to do this.”

“Steve was just doing what he thought was best.”

“And how did that work out for us?”

Tony doesn’t know when the conversation turned from Peter to everyone else. How did he go from defending Peter to arguing with Steve and Bucky about how to properly load the dishwasher? “No, you’re wrong. Cups go on the sides of the top shelf,  _ not _ in the middle. Why would you even think to do it your way?”

Steve was about to advocate his idiotic way of loading cups when a shrieking alarm sounded through the common room, effectively shutting down all the side arguments that everyone had found themselves in. Immediately, Tony was looking for the cause of the alarm, expecting some sort of danger. “FRIDAY, what’s going on?” He asked, his hand hovering over his chest just in case he needs to activate his suit. 

“If you’re all done worrying about yourselves, I thought you might want to know that Mr. Parker is in distress.” FRIDAY snapped, the anger and disapproval at their childish behavior evident in her tone.

Tony felt like someone had just punched him in the gut as he looked around the room for Peter, his stomach sinking when he couldn’t find the kid. “W-where is he, Fri?” 

“He locked himself in his bathroom. I suggest you hurry, Boss. His oxygen saturation levels are dangerously low.”

“Bruce!” Tony called, looking at the not-that-kind-of-doctor for help.

“I’ll get the oxygen and meet you there.” 

With a single nod to Bruce, Tony pushes past the others, vaguely aware of the footsteps following him to Peter’s room. He barges in the dark room, taking a moment to acknowledge the broken objects that had been thrown around the room. “Peter!” Tony pounds on the bathroom door. 

The only response he gets is strangled gasps from Peter, making his heart hammer harder against his chest. Activating the glove of his suit, Tony snaps the door knob with a sharp twist of his hand. When the door swings open, Tony’s heart breaks at the sight of his kid curled in on himself, rocking back and forth as a river of tears stream down his cheeks. “Kid.” He whispers, holding out a hand behind him, telling the others to stay back, and kneeling in front of Peter.

“Hey, buddy. It’s Tony. I need you to take a couple deep breaths for me.” Tony instructs, forcing himself to remain calm, even though he is a wreck on the inside. He knows a panic attack when he sees one and he knows how important it is for persons helping to keep their cool. “Peter, match your breathing with mine.” 

He exaggerates his breaths, loudly inhaling and exhaling. Without thinking, Tony reaches out, touching Peter’s arm in an attempt to calm him, but pulls his hand back when Peter flinches out of the way. “Sorry, kid. I won’t touch you. You’re safe, Peter. You’re safe.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so...I posted chapter 3 like, 2 hours ago but I couldn't wait any longer to post chapter 4. So here we are... 
> 
> Enjoy! 
> 
> Like always, let me know what you think :)

Peter isn’t buying it. 

No matter how much his “team” denies talking about him or playing a game with his emotions, he isn’t buying it. 

This is exactly what Skip said they would do. He said that  _ “Earth’s Mightiest Heroes wouldn’t bother with a child. You’re like a shiny new toy but as soon as you start to get worn down, they’ll throw you out and forget you ever existed.” _

The fact that the others confronted Peter isn’t really shocking. He knows he’s been a grade-A asshole the last few months, but it’s easier to cover up his pain by yelling and snapping at people. By pushing people away, he feels like he’s protecting them from the cruel reality of what Skip is forcing him to do. The people in his life already have enough to worry about. It wouldn’t be fair for Peter to drag them into his problems too. 

What Steve said is true; Peter is the problem. And the sooner he pulls himself away from those he loves, the less of a burden he will be. 

_ “I swear, the Avengers must be so ashamed to have someone as pathetic as you on their team. Look at you, you keep coming back, begging me for more.” _ Peter did beg. Not by choice and not because he wanted it. Skip claimed it was getting old and he wanted to spice things up, so he threatened to release the photos if Peter didn’t beg.

Those stupid pictures. The first time Peter met up with Skip, the older man showed Peter the photos of him in his bedroom, wearing his suit without the mask. That alone gave Skip all the power over Peter. Then add on the pictures Skip has taken of Peter in a variety of humiliating, pornographic positions, and Peter will forever be following every command that Skip gives him.

So Peter is stuck. Stuck in a constant loop of him living his worst nightmare over and over. And there is nothing he can do about it, except yell at everyone who shows even an ounce of kindness to him to keep them from seeing how broken he truly is.

But Peter’s tired of yelling.

Looking around, Peter watches as the people he loves turn from fighting him to fighting each other and he can’t help but feel like he is the cause of it all. No. He knows that he is the cause. If he wasn’t so weak, if he wasn’t so pathetic and afraid, none of this would be happening. Steve wouldn’t have felt the need to hold an intervention, Tony wouldn’t have tried to defend him, and nobody would be yelling.

It is all too much, too hard, too painful. As fast as he can, Peter runs to his room, shutting out the loud voices from the common room. He feels hot tears spill from his eyes as every emotion he’s been ignoring for the past two months makes their way to the front of his mind. Letting out a heart wrenching cry, he grabs the closest thing in reach and chucks it across the room.

Peter sobs, officially reaching his breaking point. In a frenzy, he continues to trash his room, not caring what he’s breaking or the damage he’s doing. He’s broken. He’s damaged. So why shouldn’t all of this stupid stuff be broken or damaged too. Why does he have to be the only one?

Peter doesn’t realize that he’s struggling to breathe until the burning in his lungs becomes painful. He stumbles to the bathroom, locking himself in so no one else has to witness the mess that he is. They would all be so ashamed of the way he’s acting. 

Huddling in a corner, Peter gasps, desperate to suck in enough oxygen to satisfy his lungs, but no matter how hard he tries, it only seems to make it worse. He can tell, even in the dark bathroom, that the edges of his vision are blurring. Dark spots slowly pop up, blinding him to everything around him.

A hand touches Peter’s shoulder, making him flinch, his mind automatically thinking that it’s Skip. He can hear a voice telling him that he needs to breathe along with the exaggerated breathing, guiding him on what to do. With as much energy as he can give, Peter tries to match his breaths, fighting to stay conscious. 

“Peter, I’m going to put an oxygen mask over your face to help you breathe. I’m not going to hurt you.” The familiar voice explained before Peter felt the plastic cup over his mouth and nose. The effect is immediate as the influx of oxygen relieves most of the burning in his lungs.

“There you go, kid. Just keep breathing. You’re doing great.” 

Blinking away the lingering fuzziness, Peter looks towards the voice. He’s unable to stop himself as he lurches forward, wrapping his arms around Tony, relishing in the safety he feels in that moment. “I’m so sorry, Mr. Stark.” He apologizes, tightening his arms. 

“Don’t worry about that right now, Peter. I’m just glad you’re okay.” Tony presses a gentle kiss to Peter’s temple, wincing at the pain in his knees from the uncomfortable position on the tile floor. “How about we move out of the bathroom so we can talk more.”

After they’re all settled back in the common room, with Peter clinging onto Tony’s arm as if it was his life support, Tony finally speaks up. “Peter, we won’t force you to tell us anything, but I want you to know that we’re worried. You’re part of our family, kid, and we want to help you with any problems you have.” 

For a moment, Peter thinks about continuing to lie, to tell Tony that he was just stressed with school and that’s why he was acting the way he had been acting. He thinks about apologizing, promising to do better, and then going home with a resolve to find some other way to hide his emotions.

**But there comes a point where you no longer care if there’s a light at the end of the tunnel or not. You’re just sick of the tunnel.** It’s not that Peter doesn’t care anymore if Skip releases the photos, it’s just that he can’t. He can’t handle lying. He can’t handle the sneaking around. He can’t handle being used and raped over and over again. He just can’t.

So he tells them the truth. 

He explains what happened eight years ago when Skip first abused him, then how he saw Skip in a coffee shop and not too long after received a text message from an anonymous number. 

He walks them through his encounter in the elevator - which raised a lot of questions of how Skip managed to get in the building in the first place, leading to the discovery that Skip works at Stark Industries. (Tony was quick to revoke his access to the building, saving the actual act of firing him for when they have Skip tied up in a basement so far off the grid that not even FRIDAY could find it.) 

Peter describes the first time he met up with Skip, how dirty the cheap hotel room was, the vulgar things Skip said to him, and the way he stripped Peter at an agonizingly slow pace while tracing his fingers over every inch of skin. 

He may have given too much detail for some parts of his explanation, but nobody seemed to mind. If anything, the unneeded information fueled the fire in each of their eyes more than the basic details. 

By the end of it, surprisingly only a handful of objects had been broken; including a few throw pillows (basically everyone), Bucky’s phone (Bucky), Steve’s phone (also Bucky), Pepper’s favorite crystal lamp set (also Bucky - he was mad okay - and Tony), and the TV (Tony via one of the previously mentioned crystal lamps). 

“This all happened in the last two months?” Natasha questioned once Peter was finished talking, briefly looking up from the laptop she was using to find every piece of information on Skip as possible. Peter nodded, and Nat continued. “And you met up with him 26 times, right?” Again, Peter nodded. “I hope you realize that I am no longer accountable for the things I do to this son of a bitch.”

“Same.” Bucky growled, his eyes going unfocused as he stared at the blank wall in front of him, no doubt daydreaming about the different methods he will use to make Skip’s life miserable.

Tony squeezed Peter’s arm gently, getting the kid to focus on him. “Thank you for telling us.” The sincerity in Tony’s voice had Peter’s eyes watering all over again, because after these hellish two months, he feels like someone cares. They cared enough to listen through his whole story, never once showing any judgment towards Peter like he thought they would. “You are not in this alone, kid. I promise you, we are all here for you, willing to help with whatever you need.”

“What’s going to happen now?” While he feels relieved to have finally told somebody, Peter is still worried about the consequences of his choice. Skip still has the pictures, he still has contingencies in place in case something happens to him. Even if the Avengers can take Skip out, it won’t stop the one thing that Peter’s been trying to prevent this whole time. Making sure the pictures didn’t get out to the rest of the world is why Peter allowed Skip to do what he did. 

“I’m gonna kill him.” Seethed Bucky, who was already walking toward the exit. 

Stepping in his way, Steve placed his hands against Bucky’s chest, keeping him from going further. “We can’t kill him, Buck. That wouldn’t turn out well for any of us.” 

“He raped him, Steve!” Bucky roared, looking at Steve like he had just suggested they invite Skip over for tea.

“We’re the Avengers. We can’t just kill people.” Steve argued. 

“Fuck that!” Bucky pushed Steve off of him, his whole body shaking with rage. “Let them arrest me or put me in the fucking raft, I. Don’t. Fucking. Care. That asshole raped Peter, he doesn’t have the right to live anymore.”

“Buck- “ Sam tried, holding his hands in front of him as if Bucky were a wild animal they were trying to keep from attacking. 

“No!” Bucky cried, shocking everyone as he turned to face them all with a broken look on his face. “You don’t get it. I have to do this. Peter will never be able to sleep peacefully knowing that his abuser is still out there, even if he is in jail. I’ll be damned if I let him go through the same thing I did.”

Silence filled the room, nobody daring to even breath as the implications of Bucky’s outburst ran through their thoughts. Peter was the first to speak, his voice coming out sounding smaller than he meant it to. “Does it get better?”

Bucky sighed, his energy seeming to drain out of him with that one exhale. He crossed the room and flopped on the couch beside Peter. “Eventually.” Was his simple answer, but for the moment, it was enough.

Peter glanced around the room, looking at all of the people who promised to help him. He would be lying if he said he wasn’t still afraid or hurting. The last two months will never be forgotten and it’s going to take a lot of time until he truly feels alright again, but it feels more doable knowing that he has people who are willing to stand by his side.

“So…” Clint drawled, an expectant look on his face. It was then Peter noticed that Clint had - at some point - changed into his suit, looking ready for battle. “Are we committing a felony or not?” 

“Yes!” 

“No!”

“Yes!”

“Bucky!”

Peter laughed as the team rushed out of the room, most of them arguing that killing Skip wouldn’t actually count as murder, while Steve tried to persuade them to handle it with a less illegal approach.

“Mr. Parker?” FRIDAY softly called for him, waiting until Peter responded before continuing. “I have taken it upon myself to erase every picture Mr. Westcott and his associates had of you, as well as deleting a virus to delete any pictures they may try to upload from other sources.”

“Thank you, FRIDAY.” Peter smiled, feeling relieved to have that taken care of.

The elevator dinged, causing Peter to look over at whoever was arriving, his eyebrows furrowing when he saw a worried May rushing towards him. “May?”

“Peter!” May exclaimed, wrapping her arms suffocatingly tight around Peter’s neck. “Tony called. I knew I should have killed that motherfucker eight years ago. Can you believe Tony said I couldn’t join them to murder that scum bag? Who does he think he is? Just because he’s an Avenger, does not mean he can stop me from obliterating that man off the face of the universe.”

“Geez, woman.” Tony scoffed, walking back in the room. To Peter’s surprise, Tony wasn’t suited up, but instead dressed in pajamas with a bowl of popcorn in his hands. “If you really want to go that badly, they’re all loading up on the quinjet as we speak.” 

May let go of Peter, quickly giving him a kiss on the forehead, then scrambling to her feet to join the rest of the team. “Don’t think for one second that I’m letting you get away with calling me ‘woman’.” May called out behind her before turning the corner out of the room. 

Tony froze for a moment, his eyes wide at May’s comment, but shrugged his shoulders and proceeded to sit next to Peter. “So, the new season of The Mandalorian is out.” He casually mentioned, shoving a handful of popcorn in his mouth. “You up for binge watching it all?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ** Quote by Ranata Suzuki **


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So uh, you know how I ended it? Yeah, I lied. To you and me. It wasn’t until after I spent 10 hours in lecture today and was ready to die that I decided to add more. Two chapter more, to be exact. I meant for it to be one, but I’m trying to actually wrap things up for once and got a smidge carried away 
> 
> Anyway, let me know what you think! Thanks 😊

“You aren’t leaving this table until you eat everything on your plate.”

Peter is close to losing his mind. Like really  _ really  _ close. 

It’s been three weeks since the truth about Skip came out, Tony refuses to let Peter leave the tower for any reason - not for school, not for patrol, not for a walk around the block - and the only time he has gotten to himself is when he’s in the bathroom. Taking multiple showers a day has become his new hobby. But even then, someone is sitting right outside the door, “just in case.” Just in case of what? He has no idea. It’s just what they all say those few times he’s asked about it.

Don’t get him wrong, Peter is grateful that they all care so much and for the support they have given him. That first week he needed the constant company to help him feel safe; to let him know that he wasn’t dreaming because it didn’t feel real at first, being free from Skip, from the endless fear of not being in control of his life. He needed the physical contact of someone he trusted to keep him grounded when his mind spiraled out of control with thoughts of ‘what if’. 

“What if Skip escapes?”

“What if FRIDAY didn’t succeed in erasing all the pictures of him?”

“What if everybody is actually judging him for being so weak and that’s why Tony and May haven’t let him go out patrolling because they don’t think he is strong enough to be a superhero?”

It’s silly, he tells himself, to worry about things that haven’t happened and are not likely to happen. From what he’s heard, Skip is being “treated” by SHIELD doctors in an underground bunker with absolutely no memory of who he is or what happened to him. Now, before you accuse the Avengers of harming an “innocent” civilian to get revenge for one of their team members, there are a few things you need to know. 

1\. Skip was not innocent. 

2\. As Tony once said, they’re called the  A vengers, not the  Re vengers. So they wouldn’t stoop so low as to get petty revenge on some scumbag.

3\. The Winter Soldier is not a member of the Avengers team - so technically the Avengers had nothing to do with Skip’s unfortunate accident. 

4\. Skip was well aware that the breaks in the car he “voluntarily” drove didn’t work. He knew that the only road available for him to drive on with the defected car included a steep downhill slope that curved at the bottom. He knew that driving down that hill at an uncontrolled speed would end in a potentially fatal crash. So really, you could count the accident as a suicide attempt done out of guilt for the horrible things he’s done in his life. 

Peter really has no reason to worry about Skip. He also trusts FRIDAY with his life and if she says she took care of the pictures, he believes her. And no one has given him any reason to think that they are judging him or think less of him. But even with the logical half of his brain telling him he has nothing to worry about, he still worries. 

So yes, Peter is insanely appreciative of everything Tony, May, and the rest of the team have done for him, however, he now feels like he’s suffocating from the attention. He’s known from the first time he met the Avengers that they are all little mother hens waiting for the opportunity to coddle someone. This whole ordeal has lit a fire inside them that is so big, Peter’s afraid it won’t ever go out.

It’s bad, but not all the time. It’s how they show that they care, so as much as it grates in his nerves and makes him want to rip his hair out, he also maybe, sorta, kinda, likes it. 

Steve has taken it upon himself to tell Peter stories every night before bed. 

Natasha sings him Russian lullabies and plays with his hair if he acts even the slightest bit upset. 

Clint’s been washing, drying, ironing, and folding Peter’s clothes - all of them. You thought people only ironed their underwear in movies? Guess again. 

Sam at least tries to give the illusion that he’s giving Peter space by lurking around corners, ready to jump in at any moment. It doesn’t work though because Peter knows he’s there. The man breathes way too loud. How Sam doesn’t get them caught more frequently on stealth missions is a mystery to Peter. 

Bucky has actually been the most helpful, allowing Peter to express his feelings without interrupting or trying to stop him from crying and when Peter is done talking, Bucky then offers advice, words of wisdom, and tips on how to move forward. The others try, but they just don’t know what it’s like. Bucky does. The similar trauma that they now share makes Peter feel understood and validated in the wide range of emotions that he has been feeling lately. 

Tony is, well, Tony. He hovers, he worries, he smothers, and he is either with Peter at all times or watching Peter via video footage at all times. He is constantly asking Peter how he’s doing, never believing him when he says he’s okay. He cooks an unnecessary amount of food, claiming that Peter has to make up for the food he didn’t eat in those two months. Which is where they are now. Peter has eaten at least six full portion sizes of pasta and he can’t eat another bite. 

However, Tony isn’t having it. “You need to eat.” He insists, twirling Peter’s fork in the pasta as if he was planning on feeding it to Peter like a child. When Peter groans, dropping his head back, and closing his eyes, Tony sits up straighter, panic evident in his tone “Are you okay? What’s wrong? Do you need something? Natas- !” 

“No!” Peter shouts, pressing his hands against Tony’s mouth, stopping him from calling in the troops to the rescue. “Nothing is wrong, Tony. I’m just full. I swear if I try to take another bite I’m going to explode.” 

“But you need- “ Tony mumbled, trying to talk around Peter’s hands. Only for the teenager to push harder. 

“What I need is to lay on the couch in a food coma while we watch a movie.” Begged Peter, using his famous puppy-dog eyes, praying that Tony will give in. Tony tried to talk again, but stopped, rolling his eyes before motioning to Peter’s hands which were still covering his mouth. Smiling sheepishly, Peter dropped his hands, offering a quick apology as he did. 

“Fine, you don’t have to eat the rest…”

“YES!”

“But…”

“Oh no.” 

“You have to promise me that you will eat an unhealthy amount of popcorn while we’re watching the movie.” Tony bargained.

Sighing, Peter thought about it for a moment before adding his own conditions. “I will only eat popcorn if I get hungry or close to hungry, and will stop when I start to feel full.” 

Tony narrowed his eyes, but still stuck his hand out for Peter to shake. “Deal.”

“Deal.” Peter agreed, smiling at his small victory. It’s not much, but any amount of control that Peter has over his choices makes all the difference. 

* * *

“Hey, Tony?” Peter whispers apprehensively, feeling like a small child waking up their parents in the middle of the night. 

“Yeah?” The groggy, sleep-filled voice of Tony answers, instantly making Peter feel bad for waking him up. 

Again. 

For the twenty-fifth night in a row. 

Whether it’s because of a nightmare or because Peter needs to talk to someone, Tony hasn’t had a solid night sleep since Peter started staying at the tower. “What’s up, buddy?”

“Uh, nevermind. I’m sorry, you can go back to sleep.” Peter was already turning to walk out of the dark room, his stomach flipping at the thought of being alone right now. It’s been too long though. He can’t keep waking Tony up. It’s not fair to him to have to watch over Peter all through the day and during the night. 

A hand grasped Peter’s arm, stopping him from leaving the room. “Come on, kid.” Tony slid over in his large bed, pulling the comforter back for Peter to slip under. 

“N-no, Tony. I-it’s okay.” 

“I wasn’t asking.” The man smiled, a comforting sign that he really didn’t mind Peter waking him up. “Now hurry, you’re letting the warmth out.”

Peter didn’t wait to be told again, slipping into the warm bed and pulling the covers up to his chin. With his eyes closed, Peter couldn’t stop the content sigh from escaping or the soft smile that pulled up the corners of his mouth. Here, in the warm bed, surrounded by Tony’s familiar and comforting scent, Peter is happy. Happier than he’s been in what feels like a long time. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t you dare apologize, Pete.” Tony scolded. “You can always come to me at any time, day or night. I want to help you in any way you need. It’s worth losing an hour or two of sleep to do it.”

The two of them laid quietly for several minutes. Peter trying to rebuild the courage to talk to Tony about what was on his mind. And Tony - used to Peter needing a quiet moment to collect his thoughts - waiting patiently. 

This type of silence has become a common occurrence throughout the penthouse. It’s the type of silence most people don’t get often, but desperately need sometimes. Where your thoughts flow freely without anything to distract or interrupt you. The kind where there is no pressure to talk or express yourself. Where you look deep into your mind, heart, and soul to be honest with yourself about what you need. It’s rejuvenating, powerful, inspiring. 

For Peter, his thoughts are currently pressing him to do something that absolutely terrifies him. But he knows that he will never truly find peace and move forward without doing it. 

If anything, what scares him the most is not being able to take this experience and turn it into a strength, rather than a weakness. He wants to be able to look in the mirror one day and say that not only did he survive this, he also - as Sam so gracefully puts it - “made it his bitch” and became the one who held all the power. 

  
  


“Tony?” Finally breaking the silence, Peter turned on his side, facing Tony. 

“Yeah, kid?” 

“I want- “ He started, cutting himself off quickly to correct himself. “No, I need to do something and I need you to not try to talk me out of it because I’m pretty sure I would give in in a heartbeat and I can’t do that.” 

His interest piqued, Tony propped his head up on his hand, signaling that he was fully ready to listen. “Whatever you need, Peter. I’m here to support you.” 

“I need to see to Skip.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so so sorry that this took forever for me to get out! I had a hard time figuring out how I wanted to end this and getting to the point where I felt like I had said everything I needed to say. ** I will warn you now, that the ending to this does not come to a conclusion of everything being settled and life moving on. I'll explain my reasoning for it in the end notes if you care to understand more of where I am coming from. **
> 
> ***For those of you who don't want to read the less than happy ending, skip this chapter and read the alt ending in chapter 7. I posted the whole chapter with the different ending and marked where the alt ending starts.***
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy! Let me know what you think! 
> 
> Happy New Year!

The heavy metal doors slammed shut behind them, making Peter jump, his already racing heart pounding harder in his chest. 

“You don’t have to do this, Kid.” Tony reminds him for the tenth time since they entered this zombie apocalypse styled bunker. Peter knows that Tony is worried about him and how seeing Skip will mess with his head. He’s afraid that confronting Skip will send Peter back a few steps instead of helping him move forward. But Peter is sure that this is what he needs to do and he isn’t going to back out now. 

“I know,” Peter answers, the same response he’s given the other times Tony’s told him that he doesn’t have to do it. “But I need to do this.”

“Okay, but- “

“Tony, the kid knows what he’s doing.” Bucky interrupted. “You’ve got to trust him.”

Sighing, Tony shook his head. “I just don’t want him to get hurt again.” 

“He won’t.” Bucky reassured, giving Tony’s shoulder a comforting squeeze. “We’re here to make sure that doesn’t happen.”

“You two do realize that I’m right here?” Peter asked, raising his eyebrows at men who were talking about him as if he weren’t there. Bucky shot him an apologetic smile while Tony dragged a hand down his face, sighing deeply. 

Even though Tony clearly does not agree with Peter’s choice to confront Skip, the man hasn’t tried to force his opinions onto Peter or talk him out of it, which the young hero is grateful for. Of course, that didn’t stop Tony from repeatedly checking to make sure that Peter was certain of his choice or from reminding him that no one would think less of him if he changes his mind. 

The three of them came to a stop in front of yet another large metal door, however unlike the others in the base, this one has a window allowing anyone to look through. “We’ll be right out here if you need us.” Bucky promised, his hands already undoing the lock keeping the prisoner secured in the room. 

Peter only nods his head to signal that he is ready, not trusting his voice to not betray him.

The hinges squeaked as the door swung open, coming to a harsh stop against the cement wall. Before he could change his mind, Peter forced himself to move forward into the room, his steps faltering when he finally laid his eyes on Skip. 

The man in the room was barely recognizable as the same man who, even after cruely abusing Peter, always looked out together. Bruises litter every visible inch of skin, blood drips on his temple from a fresh cut, his nose is distorted from the broken bones, and his left eye is swollen shut. The once neatly kept blonde hair is dirty, outgrown, and sticking out in every direction. Skip’s arms are tied behind him and his feet are chained to the floor. 

With his head lazily hung forward, Skip flickers his eyes up. A sickening smile spreads over his face and a terrifying laugh escapes from Skip’s mouth as his eyes immediately find Peter’s. “I knew you wouldn’t be able to stay away from me.” 

The blood drained from Peter’s face and his heart rate skyrocketed. “Y-you remember?” He whispers, the soft words echoing in the quiet room. 

“I could never forget you.” The tone of his voice sounded dangerous while his eyes gleamed with amusement, making Peter’s stomach churn. “You never could get enough, could you?” 

Despite the stream of emotions begging him to deny it, Peter bites his tongue. He knows that Skip is wrong and that’s all that matters - or so he keeps telling himself, hoping that one day he’ll actually believe it. 

Peter takes a seat in the rusty metal chair across from Skip, his hands shaking harder with each second that passes. For the past few weeks as he waited to visit the prison, Peter had thought about everything he wanted to tell the man now sitting in front of him. He could demand answers, questioning what he ever did to deserve what Skip did. He could narrate everything from his perspective, detailing everything; from the horrible things Skip did to him, to the moment the Avengers learned the truth. He could yell, scream,and shout at Skip until his face turned blue, projecting all his anger and hurt towards the man. 

But being here now, actually seeing Skip, seeing firsthand the torture the man has endured, Peter realizes that he has absolutely nothing to say to him. He doesn’t want to know why Skip did it. He doesn’t want to waste his breath on a man who clearly knew what he was doing. 

However, it does worry Peter that Skip remembers him. The last he had heard was that Skip lost his memories in the “accident”. He had been expecting to talk to the shell of the man who tormented him, a person who was unaware of the trauma Peter had been through. It was easier to want to talk to Skip when he thought the man wouldn’t remember him.

“I don’t remember much, but you, Peter Parker, will always haunt me.” Skip broke the silence, his eyes darkening and his head twitching as if he’s reliving a bad memory. “Your constant lies and claims of not wanting it ruined my life!” Bellowed Skip, causing Peter to flinch at the sudden loud noise, but he quickly regained his composure.

“I never lied!” Peter defended through clenched teeth, his nails digging into the palm of his hands to stop his hands from shaking. Just because he doesn’t have anything to say to Skip doesn’t mean he won’t finally stand up for himself.

“Then why did you keep coming back?” The genuine confusion in Skip’s voice when he asked the question caught Peter off guard. For a moment he considered the possibility that Skip truly didn’t remember the fact that he blackmailed Peter. Then Skip’s furrowed brows relaxed, his expression turning into a smirk. “I’m gonna take your silence as confirmation that you kept coming back because you wanted it.” 

Scoffing, Peter crosses his arms and leans back into his chair. He knows Skip is looking to get a reaction out of him and he isn’t going to satisfy Skip’s twisted hopes. “You blackmailed me. You threatened that if I didn’t do what you said you would release my identity to the world.” 

“Seriously?” Skip laughs, a sound that makes Peter’s stomach drop. “If that was your concern, then why did you tell someone else? Or did you finally realize that you are surrounded by superheroes and tech geniuses who could have prevented me from following through on my threat? At any moment you could have stopped me and saved yourself from me, but you didn’t. Do you want to know my theory?” Skip doesn’t wait for Peter to respond before answering his own question. “I think that you subconsciously wanted me to fuck you because you get off on that kinky shit. I think you hid behind the blackmailing and used it as an excuse to keep coming back. I think that when you realized just how much you actually wanted it, you did what you could have done from the very beginning and called in the actual superheroes to save your ass. Except they didn’t really save you from me, they saved you from yourself.” 

Peter launched from his seat towards Skip, his fist making contact with the man’s jaw, causing a sickening crunch to echo around the room. It didn’t stop Peter though. He screamed as he continued to deliver blow after blow to anywhere he could reach. His vision blurred with tears, every emotion he had pushed down in his time with Skip coming to the surface.

He didn’t notice the door slamming open or the two figures running towards him until strong arms wrapped around his waist, pulling him off of Skip’s unconscious, bloodied form and out into the hallway. Peter fought to be released, wanting,  _ needing _ to finish what he started. 

“Peter, calm down!” Bucky grunted, his grip on Peter never faltering despite how much the kid was squirming. “It’s over, kid. He can’t hurt you. You’re okay.”

The energy and adrenaline in Peter faded quickly, and he felt himself collapsing into Bucky’s arms. Tears still ran down his face, but he stopped fighting, allowing the super soldier to carry him out of the room and away from Skip. “I-I didn’t w-want…” He whispered, unable to finish his sentence. “I didn’t… I never.... I…”

“Shh, I know kid.” Bucky soothed, rubbing his hand over Peter’s back to comfort him. “He was trying to mess with your mind, don’t listen to him.” 

Peter wants to follow Bucky’s advice, he wants to forget what Skip said to him. Skip was wrong when he said that Peter wanted it, that part he is one hundred percent sure about. No amount of persuasion could make him ever believe that he was a willing participant. Just the thought of it makes his blood boil. 

What is bothering Peter, though, is the fact that there is some truth to Skip’s words. Peter could have stopped it at any time. He could have avoided the months of trauma and humiliation, if he had just been smart enough to realize that the Avengers would stop at nothing to protect him. That whole time he didn’t know how to save himself, but the answer was right in front of him and he was too stupid to realize it. 

“I could have stopped it?” Peter wasn’t asking anyone in particular, his mind still struggling to wrap around that seemingly obvious statement.

“You didn’t know, Pete.” Tony answered, reaching up to place a hand on Peter’s cheek, his thumb wiping off tears.

Pushing Tony’s hand away from him, Peter frowned at his mentor. “But I could have.” He argues, his voice coming out harsher than he intended, but he doesn’t care.

“Peter- “

“NO!” Peter shouted, tugging his hair in frustration. “You don’t understand! I could have stopped it, but I didn’t. I could have said something sooner and none of us would have to be dealing with the aftermath like we are now.”

“Peter- “

“Don’t! Don’t try to make me feel better. I did this. It’s my fault and you can’t tell me otherwise. I could have fucking stopped it!” Peter inhaled sharply, trying to catch his breath. His whole body’s shaking with rage. He’s angry at himself, at his stupidity, his obtuse ignorance to something that was so outrageously obvious. 

Frustrated, Peter punches the cement wall without thinking about the consequences. “Fuck!” He cried out in pain, cradling his broken hand carefully to his chest. 

“What the hell Peter!” Bucky and Tony both yelled, panicked from his rash outburst. Both men reached toward Peter to help him, but the teenager shrugged off their hands before walking towards the entrance of the bunker. 

* * *

  
  


The ride back to the tower was silent. Neither Tony nor Bucky knew what to say or do to help Peter, who had shut down on them. For Peter, it’s easier to cover his emotions than to face them. He doesn’t even know what he’s supposed to be feeling. Part of him wants to cry while the other part is tired of crying and wants to break something. He’s tired, but can’t shut off his mind. 

Why did he have to ask to see Skip? 

Why did he let Skip affect him so much? 

Why is he so upset over the things Skip said?

He has so many questions and the only person who can answer them is himself. Peter thought he had already gotten through the hard part, so why can’t he just get over it again? All that shit happened over a month ago, it shouldn’t be this hard anymore. 

It’s these scattered emotions that Peter’s trying to hide from. Letting out a slow breath, Peter clears his mind and lets a feeling of emptiness take over. He would rather be nothing than the broken mess that he really is. 

Peter kept his eyes closed while Dr. Cho looked over his hand, making sure the bones would be able to heal properly. He didn’t respond to any of her questions or flinch when she was maneuvering his hand to test it’s mobility. He didn’t do anything. 

_ Just like you didn’t do anything to stop Skip _ , he thought to himself bitterly.

Once Dr. Cho cleared him to return to the tower, Peter went straight to his room, ignoring the concerned glances from the rest of the team. Standing in the doorway, he looked around his room, but didn’t enter further. His bed is a mess since he hadn’t made it that morning, the armchair in the corner is piled high with clothes, his desk is a disaster of school supplies and half built lego structures. The whole room is cluttered with things that he had been too lazy to put away.

The sight of it made him antsy. He almost felt like his spidey sense was warning him of danger, except instead of danger it was warning him of his messy room. Shaking his head, Peter enters the room, his mind set on cleaning up the space. 

It was trickier than he thought it would be with his broken hand, but after a while his room was spotless. Everything is in its rightful place, the sun is shining through the open windows, and he finally felt like he could breathe. Using the wall to support himself, Peter sunk to the floor, sighing deeply as he did. “I’m done.” He whispered to himself, allowing a small smile to creep on his face. 

The smile faded as tears filled his eyes, his breathing turning in shallow gasps. The pain of the last few months hitting him like a train, leaving him feeling like he has a gaping hole going straight through him. His body shook as sobs tore him apart, uprooting every step of progress he had made. 

Peter thought he had been getting better and moving past the pain of his abuse. He felt loved by his makeshift family, enjoyed spending time with each of them, laughed whenever someone told a corny joke. For that short time, between Skip being caught, to when Peter saw him again, he didn’t feel like he was being plagued by the haunting memories of Skip. He was starting to convince himself that he was getting back to normal. 

But that’s the problem; no matter how hard he tries, no matter how much he forces himself to act happy, no matter how hard he buries the skeletons of the past, Peter will never be the same person that he was before Skip came back into his life. 

When Peter was eight, after the first time Skip raped him, he didn’t bounce back to be the same happy-go-lucky, carefree kid that he was before. It took a year just for him to stop having nightmares every night and three years for him to feel comfortable around any male older than him besides Ben. Even with his aunt and uncle constantly reassuring him that they would never let something like that happen to him again, Peter didn’t ever truly feel safe until he got his powers. 

It took time before and it’s going to take a lot of time now. 

Peter had tried to force himself to be okay, to move on and get over his trauma. He thought that since he had gone through it once before, he could get through it faster this time. He wanted to prove to himself and to his family that he was strong, but in the process he hadn’t realized that he ended up hurting himself more. 

The smiling, the laughing, the pretending to be happy; all of it, he’s tired of it. He tried the whole ‘fake it ‘til you make it’ stunt, and all he ended up doing was breaking himself further. 

And now, he’s done trying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so let me explain before you get really mad at me in the comments (although I do want to hear your opinions on the ending)
> 
> Most of my stories end with everything starting to look up and life going back to normal, however that's not realistic. For this story I wanted to take a more honest approach to trauma and the aftermath of everything that a person has experienced. 
> 
> Peter was forced into accepting and agreeing to Skip raping him almost everyday. Nobody could recover so easily like it originally seemed he had. He had convinced himself that he was fine and tricked himself into believing that he wasn't as affected by Skip as he truly was. Add on the final taunt from Skip, about how he could have saved himself from the very beginning if he had only realized that the Avengers could stop Skip from carrying out his threat, and the DIY duct tape job that Peter had done to "fix" himself quickly fell apart, leaving him to feel even more broken than he had before. (It obviously wasn't Peter's fault because the shock and fear of seeing Skip again clouded his judgement and blinded him to the safety that was in front of him the whole time)
> 
> The final line of the story is not meant to indicate suicide or self harm, it's only meant to show that he's back to step one with him believing that there is no hope for him. 
> 
> Whether or not Skip died from Peter's attack is up to you. Part of me says no, because I don't want Peter to also have that hanging over his head. But another part of me says yes, because not even Spider-Man is immune to losing control of his actions when so completely overwhelmed by the intense emotions he was battling against. 
> 
> I hope you can sort of see where I am coming from and my thought process behind ending it this way.
> 
> Anyway, talk to me in the comments, let me know how you feel, tell me what your opinions are on this ending!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh okay, I felt bad having a not-so-happy ending so I wrote this alternate ending. To me it feels rushed, but it's this or the sad one so...
> 
> I am posting the whole chapter so you know where this ending starts, but I will clearly (hopefully) mark where the alternate ending starts so you don't have to reread the entire thing if you don't want to.

The heavy metal doors slammed shut behind them, making Peter jump, his already racing heart pounding harder in his chest. 

“You don’t have to do this, Kid.” Tony reminds him for the tenth time since they entered this zombie apocalypse styled bunker. Peter knows that Tony is worried about him and how seeing Skip will mess with his head. He’s afraid that confronting Skip will send Peter back a few steps instead of helping him move forward. But Peter is sure that this is what he needs to do and he isn’t going to back out now. 

“I know,” Peter answers, the same response he’s given the other times Tony’s told him that he doesn’t have to do it. “But I need to do this.”

“Okay, but- “

“Tony, the kid knows what he’s doing.” Bucky interrupted. “You’ve got to trust him.”

Sighing, Tony shook his head. “I just don’t want him to get hurt again.” 

“He won’t.” Bucky reassured, giving Tony’s shoulder a comforting squeeze. “We’re here to make sure that doesn’t happen.”

“You two do realize that I’m right here?” Peter asked, raising his eyebrows at men who were talking about him as if he weren’t there. Bucky shot him an apologetic smile while Tony dragged a hand down his face, sighing deeply. 

Even though Tony clearly does not agree with Peter’s choice to confront Skip, the man hasn’t tried to force his opinions onto Peter or talk him out of it, which the young hero is grateful for. Of course, that didn’t stop Tony from repeatedly checking to make sure that Peter was certain of his choice or from reminding him that no one would think less of him if he changes his mind. 

The three of them came to a stop in front of yet another large metal door, however unlike the others in the base, this one has a window allowing anyone to look through. “We’ll be right out here if you need us.” Bucky promised, his hands already undoing the lock keeping the prisoner secured in the room. 

Peter only nods his head to signal that he is ready, not trusting his voice to not betray him.

The hinges squeaked as the door swung open, coming to a harsh stop against the cement wall. Before he could change his mind, Peter forced himself to move forward into the room, his steps faltering when he finally laid his eyes on Skip. 

The man in the room was barely recognizable as the same man who, even after cruely abusing Peter, always looked out together. Bruises litter every visible inch of skin, blood drips on his temple from a fresh cut, his nose is distorted from the broken bones, and his left eye is swollen shut. The once neatly kept blonde hair is dirty, outgrown, and sticking out in every direction. Skip’s arms are tied behind him and his feet are chained to the floor. 

With his head lazily hung forward, Skip flickers his eyes up. A sickening smile spreads over his face and a terrifying laugh escapes from Skip’s mouth as his eyes immediately find Peter’s. “I knew you wouldn’t be able to stay away from me.” 

The blood drained from Peter’s face and his heart rate skyrocketed. “Y-you remember?” He whispers, the soft words echoing in the quiet room. 

“I could never forget you.” The tone of his voice sounded dangerous while his eyes gleamed with amusement, making Peter’s stomach churn. “You never could get enough, could you?” 

Despite the stream of emotions begging him to deny it, Peter bites his tongue. He knows that Skip is wrong and that’s all that matters - or so he keeps telling himself, hoping that one day he’ll actually believe it. 

Peter takes a seat in the rusty metal chair across from Skip, his hands shaking harder with each second that passes. For the past few weeks as he waited to visit the prison, Peter had thought about everything he wanted to tell the man now sitting in front of him. He could demand answers, questioning what he ever did to deserve what Skip did. He could narrate everything from his perspective, detailing everything; from the horrible things Skip did to him, to the moment the Avengers learned the truth. He could yell, scream,and shout at Skip until his face turned blue, projecting all his anger and hurt towards the man. 

But being here now, actually seeing Skip, seeing firsthand the torture the man has endured, Peter realizes that he has absolutely nothing to say to him. He doesn’t want to know why Skip did it. He doesn’t want to waste his breath on a man who clearly knew what he was doing. 

However, it does worry Peter that Skip remembers him. The last he had heard was that Skip lost his memories in the “accident”. He had been expecting to talk to the shell of the man who tormented him, a person who was unaware of the trauma Peter had been through. It was easier to want to talk to Skip when he thought the man wouldn’t remember him.

“I don’t remember much, but you, Peter Parker, will always haunt me.” Skip broke the silence, his eyes darkening and his head twitching as if he’s reliving a bad memory. “Your constant lies and claims of not wanting it ruined my life!” Bellowed Skip, causing Peter to flinch at the sudden loud noise, but he quickly regained his composure.

“I never lied!” Peter defended through clenched teeth, his nails digging into the palm of his hands to stop his hands from shaking. Just because he doesn’t have anything to say to Skip doesn’t mean he won’t finally stand up for himself.

“Then why did you keep coming back?” The genuine confusion in Skip’s voice when he asked the question caught Peter off guard. For a moment he considered the possibility that Skip truly didn’t remember the fact that he blackmailed Peter. Then Skip’s furrowed brows relaxed, his expression turning into a smirk. “I’m gonna take your silence as confirmation that you kept coming back because you wanted it.” 

Scoffing, Peter crosses his arms and leans back into his chair. He knows Skip is looking to get a reaction out of him and he isn’t going to satisfy Skip’s twisted hopes. “You blackmailed me. You threatened that if I didn’t do what you said you would release my identity to the world.” 

“Seriously?” Skip laughs, a sound that makes Peter’s stomach drop. “If that was your concern, then why did you tell someone else? Or did you finally realize that you are surrounded by superheroes and tech geniuses who could have prevented me from following through on my threat? At any moment you could have stopped me and saved yourself from me, but you didn’t. Do you want to know my theory?” Skip doesn’t wait for Peter to respond before answering his own question. “I think that you subconsciously wanted me to fuck you because you get off on that kinky shit. I think you hid behind the blackmailing and used it as an excuse to keep coming back. I think that when you realized just how much you actually wanted it, you did what you could have done from the very beginning and called in the actual superheroes to save your ass. Except they didn’t really save you from me, they saved you from yourself.” 

Peter launched from his seat towards Skip, his fist making contact with the man’s jaw, causing a sickening crunch to echo around the room. It didn’t stop Peter though. He screamed as he continued to deliver blow after blow to anywhere he could reach. His vision blurred with tears, every emotion he had pushed down in his time with Skip coming to the surface.

He didn’t notice the door slamming open or the two figures running towards him until strong arms wrapped around his waist, pulling him off of Skip’s unconscious, bloodied form and out into the hallway. Peter fought to be released, wanting, _needing_ to finish what he started. 

“Peter, calm down!” Bucky grunted, his grip on Peter never faltering despite how much the kid was squirming. “It’s over, kid. He can’t hurt you. You’re okay.”

The energy and adrenaline in Peter faded quickly, and he felt himself collapsing into Bucky’s arms. Tears still ran down his face, but he stopped fighting, allowing the super soldier to carry him out of the room and away from Skip. “I-I didn’t w-want…” He whispered, unable to finish his sentence. “I didn’t… I never.... I…”

“Shh, I know kid.” Bucky soothed, rubbing his hand over Peter’s back to comfort him. “He was trying to mess with your mind, don’t listen to him.” 

Peter wants to follow Bucky’s advice, he wants to forget what Skip said to him. Skip was wrong when he said that Peter wanted it, that part he is one hundred percent sure about. No amount of persuasion could make him ever believe that he was a willing participant. Just the thought of it makes his blood boil. 

What is bothering Peter, though, is the fact that there is some truth to Skip’s words. Peter could have stopped it at any time. He could have avoided the months of trauma and humiliation, if he had just been smart enough to realize that the Avengers would stop at nothing to protect him. That whole time he didn’t know how to save himself, but the answer was right in front of him and he was too stupid to realize it. 

“I could have stopped it?” Peter wasn’t asking anyone in particular, his mind still struggling to wrap around that seemingly obvious statement.

“You didn’t know, Pete.” Tony answered, reaching up to place a hand on Peter’s cheek, his thumb wiping off tears.

Pushing Tony’s hand away from him, Peter frowned at his mentor. “But I could have.” He argues, his voice coming out harsher than he intended, but he doesn’t care.

“Peter- “

“NO!” Peter shouted, tugging his hair in frustration. “You don’t understand! I could have stopped it, but I didn’t. I could have said something sooner and none of us would have to be dealing with the aftermath like we are now.”

“Peter- “

“Don’t! Don’t try to make me feel better. I did this. It’s my fault and you can’t tell me otherwise. I could have fucking stopped it!” Peter inhaled sharply, trying to catch his breath. His whole body’s shaking with rage. He’s angry at himself, at his stupidity, his obtuse ignorance to something that was so outrageously obvious. 

Frustrated, Peter punches the cement wall without thinking about the consequences. “Fuck!” He cried out in pain, cradling his broken hand carefully to his chest. 

“What the hell Peter!” Bucky and Tony both yelled, panicked from his rash outburst. Both men reached toward Peter to help him, but the teenager shrugged off their hands before walking towards the entrance of the bunker. 

* * *

  
  


The ride back to the tower was silent. Neither Tony nor Bucky knew what to say or do to help Peter, who had shut down on them. For Peter, it’s easier to cover his emotions than to face them. He doesn’t even know what he’s supposed to be feeling. Part of him wants to cry while the other part is tired of crying and wants to break something. He’s tired, but can’t shut off his mind. 

Why did he have to ask to see Skip? 

Why did he let Skip affect him so much? 

Why is he so upset over the things Skip said?

He has so many questions and the only person who can answer them is himself. Peter thought he had already gotten through the hard part, so why can’t he just get over it again? All that shit happened over a month ago, it shouldn’t be this hard anymore. 

It’s these scattered emotions that Peter’s trying to hide from. Letting out a slow breath, Peter clears his mind and lets a feeling of emptiness take over. He would rather be nothing than the broken mess that he really is. 

Peter kept his eyes closed while Dr. Cho looked over his hand, making sure the bones would be able to heal properly. He didn’t respond to any of her questions or flinch when she was maneuvering his hand to test it’s mobility. He didn’t do anything. 

_Just like you didn’t do anything to stop Skip_ , he thought to himself bitterly.

Once Dr. Cho cleared him to return to the tower, Peter went straight to his room, ignoring the concerned glances from the rest of the team. Standing in the doorway, he looked around his room, but didn’t enter further. His bed is a mess since he hadn’t made it that morning, the armchair in the corner is piled high with clothes, his desk is a disaster of school supplies and half built lego structures. The whole room is cluttered with things that he had been too lazy to put away.

The sight of it made him antsy. He almost felt like his spidey sense was warning him of danger, except instead of danger it was warning him of his messy room. Shaking his head, Peter enters the room, his mind set on cleaning up the space. 

It was trickier than he thought it would be with his broken hand, but after a while his room was spotless. Everything is in its rightful place, the sun is shining through the open windows, and he finally felt like he could breathe. Using the wall to support himself, Peter sunk to the floor, sighing deeply as he did. “I’m done.” He whispered to himself, allowing a small smile to creep on his face. 

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

*** ALTERNATE ENDING STARTS HERE***

The smile widened as tears filled his eyes and he let out a breathy laugh. “I’m done.” He repeated. 

After all this time, he is done. Done with being abused by Skip. Done with constantly being fearful of his next encounter with the man. Done with letting Skip control his every move. Skip is gone, out of his life, stuck in a dimly lit cell with no way of escaping. There is nothing stopping Peter for moving forward except for himself. 

“Peter?” Tony stood in the doorway, the other team members lingering a few steps behind him. The weary looks on all of their faces made Peter laugh harder.

“What’s happening? Is this normal?” Steve not-so-quietly whispered to Sam, receiving a shrug in response. “Is this one of the stages of grief?”

“Okay, Peter, you’re starting to scare me.” Tony took slow calculating steps toward Peter until he was crouching him. “Talk to me, bud. What’s going on?”

Peter calmed himself a little, but the smile never left his face. “I’m done.” He answered, another wave of happiness washing over him, causing him to tear up again. 

“What do you mean?” Bucky asked this time, joining Tony and Peter on the ground. 

“I don’t ever have to see Skip again.” Peter laughed, enjoying the freedom from that demon of his past. For so long he’s felt like there was a weight pressing on his chest, and now it’s gone. “I’m done with stressing over the ‘what if’s’ and ‘maybe’s’. What if I had told you all sooner? What if i had stopped Skip from the very beginning? Maybe this is all my fault, or maybe it isn’t. Who cares though? None of it will change the fact that it happened. I can’t control the past, but I can control what I’m going to do next. And I know that whatever happens next won’t have anything to do with Skip.” 

Peter doesn’t know where the sudden clarity came from. He was cleaning his room one minute, then the next he was spouting a mini speech about how he was going to move forward. Give him an hour and who knows, he could be having an existential crisis about his purpose in life - his emotions are a smidge frayed at the moment, so excuse the random mood changes. But he doesn’t care because for right now, things are looking up.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know how you're feeling about this so far! Thanks!


End file.
